Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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