is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
