oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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