i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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