Sry I called you an 8
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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