are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
