Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dick very happy bro
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
