I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Everything about him screamed your future.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
