Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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