just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
