YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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