I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
