she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
