just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
