Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize