I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
