i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
