I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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