so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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