Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
