I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
