wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
