I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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