apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
