ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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