Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
