I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
