Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
