we're chasing vodka with high fives
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want her autograph on my taint
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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