Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I FOUND THE LEGS
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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