That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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