the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
