Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
