its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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