She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize