yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
