Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love having hate sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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