I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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