i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
