Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
