eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
