OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
