I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
