You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
