Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think your dad took our porno
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
