im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
