I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
