We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
