I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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