I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
