margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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