Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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