Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize