she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
