the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This toilet bowl is my home.
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