I don't think brook has ever known best
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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