If that was your dad, he is hot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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