I wanna passion pit in your ass
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
