Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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