they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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