Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
