Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize