That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you win again, gameday.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize