spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
