I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
