How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
