??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
