I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Who died my cat blue again?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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