Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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