this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
