Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
