I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize