We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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